[Evvie]

I know you been SITTING AND SEETHING WAITING TO DIG INTO MY ASS, HAVEN'T YA HEATHER?!

Whoa, I didn't know you felt that way and I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings by not giving you a heads up the round that you were leaving. We hadn't spoken for about a day or two before the round took place and honestly, you weren't the original mark that day - Shan was and I was very grateful that she won immunity that round. I felt like our relationship drifted and I spent more time talking to others over yourself at that point. I enjoyed talking to you in the pre-merge and we definitely fell off as the game went on and I never knew why you were upset with me or called me a snake? I never thought I did anything snakelike...it was never me going around spreading your name or trying to vote you out, honestly. I also didn't tell anyone that they were going home the round they were going home except for Leslie because there was literally no other choice at that point.

I don't know if I ever said anything bad about you? Aside from the fact that you were an intense person. I don't remember specifically throwing any dirt on your name throughout this game so if you would like to roll out the receipts, feel free miss Heather. I have time.

[Evvie]

Well since everyone else is doing it...

I felt iced out by you from the start, it never really seemed like you were interested in working with me, maybe part of that was my fault but you just seemed indifferent from me from the start. I was definitely threatened by your social connections to whom I thought were my allies Xander and Abe, so you were definitely the ideal boot at 9 in my stead. But then watching the rest of the game from the sidelines I had no idea what your plan was...stick with Abe and then just continue to get rocked in every challenge? I think you had 3-4 solid chances at getting him out but you just seemed to placate and continue to appease him like a coddling mother...now part of that can be attributed to your previous game like you said but still to try and play the loyal game to someone who was a fuckin nutter butter and also a complete and utter challenge beast is boggling to me...enjoy your brief time here.

The only reason I iced you out from the very beginning was because Xander passed onto me that you were coming for me and Shan at the very beginning during pre-merge because we were the two most likely to flip at a merge or something. That was ingrained in the back of my head so it's part of the reason why I never let you in and let Xander have a better relationship with you. I felt like we were ships passing in the night and honestly, I couldn't upkeep the social relationships the way you need to in a game like this and would intentionally leave myself offline or leave in the middle of conversations because it was just too much for me to deal with. I complained a lot about that in my confessionals and know that I made mistakes playing underneath Abe. Honestly, I'm not this type of person or that type of player and it's very discouraging to see me get so close and fall short. But like you all have graciously pointed out, I brought it upon myself.

I don't know what planet I was on thinking I had a chance against Abe but I had proven I got one, I was thinking I could get another. Silly me. I should have known better knowing this man would be up at 3 AM practicing challenges from other Stranded boards to prepare for challenges not even knowing what was coming his way. But I honestly wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been.

[Shan]

Why did you play me so hard? For a real million dollars I could understand better, but it seems so unnecessary this way. You have to vote out friends, sure, but you have to do it in a way they still want to vote for you at the end if you make it and I don’t feel that I would have no matter who you were against. 

[Evvie]

Also I would just like to point out that THIS IS A LOT TO CONTEND WITH RIGHT NOW. And I know the dogpiling isn't done because I haven't heard from Shan or Deshawn yet and I'm expecting to receive a lashing from them as well.

Thanks for the warm welcome, I guess? This will be a fun weekend.

[Leslie]

Also I would just like to point out that THIS IS A LOT TO CONTEND WITH RIGHT NOW. And I know the dogpiling isn't done because I haven't heard from Shan or Deshawn yet and I'm expecting to receive a lashing from them as well.

Thanks for the warm welcome, I guess? This will be a fun weekend.

I know people are probably thinking I'm stupid considering I genuinely felt closest to you out of you three and clearly that was not reciprocated and people are probably thinking why I am I being nice or whatever, but if you need to take a moment, like you said. You have the whole weekend to be able to answer people. You don't need to do it right now if you need to process. It's a lot coming in here and seeing everything. Ultimately this is a game so take care of yourself first.

[Evvie]

Why did you play me so hard? For a real million dollars I could understand better, but it seems so unnecessary this way. You have to vote out friends, sure, but you have to do it in a way they still want to vote for you at the end if you make it and I don’t feel that I would have no matter who you were against. 

I'm really sorry, I really really am. I never wanted to vote for you and I wanted to tell you SO BADLY about the F8 where you were supposed to be the vote and then won immunity. I was trying to do the same thing the round right after and drop hints that your name was out there without saying too much because I knew had I said anything and it got back to Abe, Xander or Deshawn, they knew it would come from me because they knew I was close to you. Let's be real - anything that anyone said was magically passed around like wildfire so I kept the majority of things close to the chest after that blow up we had with Abe and Xander during pre-merge. I never wanted you gone, even the round that I voted for you I wrote in my confessional that I was going to regret doing this and I absolutely did and do. Every single thing I said to you was honest and real. The only reason why I stuck with the boys was because I knew that those were solid numbers to get me further and I couldn't see the same pathway with just us working to get me there. I think you knew that after we eliminated Heather and you weren't into it.

It was done to make sure that Xander was comfortable because he was already upset at us voting out Sara and Heather the rounds prior and he had a hard-on for getting rid of you for whatever reason. I knew that if he didn't get his way, he would float to whoever was in power next. Hope that answers your question.

[Shan]

It does, although I don’t understand why you and Abe chose Xander over me because I also bonded with the two of you night one and I can’t help but wonder what kept me from being your third. 

That being said, I know all this shit feels super personal even when you expect it, and while I’ve been pissed at you on a game level I still meant what I said about it not affecting how I will feel about you after the game. Honestly I thought I wanted you here on the jury but now that it’s happened it doesn’t feel that great either. 

[Heather]

Lol, you’re not Abraham. That’s the only person who can claim I’ve been waiting to ‘dig in’ on them. You’re a footnote on the dissertation I have for his crazy ass. Don’t give yourself that much credit. 

Anyways, the reason I refer to you as a snake is because you, I, and Shan had  a final 3. Whether or not that’s what you were true to that final 3 is beyond the point. It was true to me. Next thing I hear, you’re telling somebody else that me going off about the situation that occurred with me and JR ‘reconfirmed me to be a wildcard.’ And you didn’t want to work with me and you’d rather work with Abe and DeShawn. The ‘reconfirmed’ portion proves to me that you were never loyal to me despite the loyalty I had towards you and that you had never really feeling me. That’s snake shit to me. Not to mention you were in the IMs with me kiking about the JR shit but telling everybody else I was intense and wild card. 

The reason we ‘drifted’ was because I thought you were fake as hell and my last tribal council confirmed that. Oh, however, my last words to you no longer are true. You’re still a snake to me but I don’t think trusting you was my biggest mistake. 

You can save the apologies. I don’t need it. You clapping in the back due to your own inability to see things for what they were is apology enough. 

 

[Evvie]

Also I would just like to point out that THIS IS A LOT TO CONTEND WITH RIGHT NOW. And I know the dogpiling isn't done because I haven't heard from Shan or Deshawn yet and I'm expecting to receive a lashing from them as well.

Thanks for the warm welcome, I guess? This will be a fun weekend.

I know people are probably thinking I'm stupid considering I genuinely felt closest to you out of you three and clearly that was not reciprocated and people are probably thinking why I am I being nice or whatever, but if you need to take a moment, like you said. You have the whole weekend to be able to answer people. You don't need to do it right now if you need to process. It's a lot coming in here and seeing everything. Ultimately this is a game so take care of yourself first.

I definitely felt the closest to you out of those 3 as well. I felt like we spoke more of the same language. Like let's be real, we have all played with Xander and Abe. I know the energy they both give in conversation LOL I've dealt with it for the last month. And I was more concerned about your well being over anything and would always feel guilty when you would apply pressure to me in conversation and I couldn't give much back in return because of literally being scared to. So boring and so stupid on my behalf.

Thanks for the kind words, Leslie. <3. 

And to you Shan, it wasn't choosing them over you. Like honestly, in my trust rankings you were always above Abe and Xander half the time. We both did want to play with you and I can attest that I was very adamant against voting for you from F9-F7. There was a whole alliance that was built within those first days that had a whole name, we had that lurker_test groupchat, that was ours and we also created another one to throw the scent off of a few things. It was because that alliance had been growing and functioning as a unit from the first week. It was the only alliance that I officially had that was named the whole game aside from my F2. It was like a whole plan that was being put into place and after a certain point, it just became simpler to go ahead with what was right in front of me instead of fighting against it. There were plenty of times I could have made a move and I knew it, but I was honestly being lazy and took an "easy" route to get here as much as I hate to admit it. I know better and deserve my lashings,

[Heather]

Lol, also, I’m ‘intense’ meanwhile you literally actively aided the most intense person in the game. Okay, girl

[Heather]

Also I would just like to point out that THIS IS A LOT TO CONTEND WITH RIGHT NOW. And I know the dogpiling isn't done because I haven't heard from Shan or Deshawn yet and I'm expecting to receive a lashing from them as well.

Thanks for the warm welcome, I guess? This will be a fun weekend.

You should’ve played like Queen Leslie if you wanted hugs and kisses

[Deshawn]

I know everyone is gonna come in with warm welcomes, but I need to be real with you. One of the realest conversations I had in this game was with you about how the root of why I was after Deshawn and Abe was because when working with them, I felt like I was treated like a second class citizen, it was what they wanted, and I was simply lucky enough to be brought along. You’re encouragement and relatability in that conversation drew me to you, but after reflecting on it, I feel like you took the place of the people I was complaining about and it makes me a little glad to watch you fall short. I really like you personally, but I felt like you saw me as in your pocket and didn’t ever actually want to work with me. I get that it’s a game, but was still a bit sour over it, just being honest. Would love to hear how you see it in your perspective because I want to like you, but I felt like you used me until you didn’t need me anymore.

Come on now. You know that's not true, at least when it comes to me. 

[Deshawn]

Also I would just like to point out that THIS IS A LOT TO CONTEND WITH RIGHT NOW. And I know the dogpiling isn't done because I haven't heard from Shan or Deshawn yet and I'm expecting to receive a lashing from them as well.

Thanks for the warm welcome, I guess? This will be a fun weekend.

Oh Evvie. My final tribal question was definitely geared with you being part of the final 3 (and it being an actual final 3) because there's a wound that needs some healing but if you expected a "lashing" from me you really didn't understand the game I came to play. I kept my thoughts to myself for the most part since I got here but there's definitely a part of me that's sad to see you here tonight. So, credit where credit is due, your social game was pretty outstanding. I thought I had a great social game but obviously you took it to a level I couldn't. I look forward to talking outside of this game when everything is said and done. 

[Deshawn]

I know everyone is gonna come in with warm welcomes, but I need to be real with you. One of the realest conversations I had in this game was with you about how the root of why I was after Deshawn and Abe was because when working with them, I felt like I was treated like a second class citizen, it was what they wanted, and I was simply lucky enough to be brought along. You’re encouragement and relatability in that conversation drew me to you, but after reflecting on it, I feel like you took the place of the people I was complaining about and it makes me a little glad to watch you fall short. I really like you personally, but I felt like you saw me as in your pocket and didn’t ever actually want to work with me. I get that it’s a game, but was still a bit sour over it, just being honest. Would love to hear how you see it in your perspective because I want to like you, but I felt like you used me until you didn’t need me anymore.

UGH I WANTED TO WORK WITH YOU SO FUCKING BAD!!!!!!!!! And honestly Abe and Deshawn kept bringing up trying to vote you out but I kept trying to pivot the vote off of you whenever I could because I really did enjoy having you around even if that bothered the rest of them lmao. In my mind, I thought that I would have flipped at the final 5 and honestly, I didn't even have you as my original vote that round. I had changed it right before the deadline because I wanted to stall and hadn't made up my mind yet about how I wanted to go. In all honesty, I tried to flip the vote to Leslie in the whispers that night and voted for her but I couldn't get them to flip with me. That doesn't necessarily mean much now though. 

I'm sorry that you felt sorry about it and appreciate your honesty. I know I'm not the most popular person here and was expecting everyone to not be voting for me even if I did make it to the end because I was aware of how my lack of looking out for those that I was closest to before sending them to the jury could look. I didn't get to have the agency I wanted or thought that I had and it's definitely difficult to realize because I fucking know better than this and got caught up in trying to play this 'noble' game when like...this is not miss America and I don't know you all from a can of paint lmao.

The irony in all of this was that I never really wanted to vote JR out. Every vote after Erik, the conversation came back to JR and Leslie and even with him targetting me, I pushed off voting either of them off as much as I could because I wanted to keep them around.

[Jean-Robert]

Deshawn, I see that now in Ponderosa, but during the game when I thought you and Abe were calling to shots I viewed it differently. My apologies for the misjudgment brother.

Evvie, I will say though, you did make the right call at 5 not to vote Abe. I 100% was not voting Leslie out, i viewed her as my day 1 (which was also a little stupid after seeing how tight Jaime and Leslie actually were) and I think all of us here could beat Xander at a final tribal, so I wasn’t planning on staying true to that final 3 deal. It’s just what I would’ve had to do to win, so I know I’m not innocent in all of this. I do also respect the hell out of your game seeing everyone else’s reactions. We all wanted to work with you in some capacity during the game and that’s really impressive. I only said what I said before because I felt a connection personally and I wanted to hear out your reasoning for the way you played.

[Evvie]

Deshawn, thank you for the kind words. I definitely always felt like you were playing things close to the chest and I never really fully knew where I stood with you and if you actually trusted me as much as you said you did. You were kinda like a fortress to me. I loved talking to you about real life stuff but I felt like when it came to game, it was very cut and dry. That's partially why I wasn't sure if 1) you had any sort of immunity idol and 2) if you had stronger deals outside of myself, Abe and Xander that you were going to use to make moves.

JR, thank you as well. Not the game I thought I would come to play but it is what it is at this rate. I was pretty disconnected for the entirety of this game mentally and wasn't playing hard at all, which is why I think I came out of the game feeling very conflicted at how everyone else was feeling towards me. You'll see in confessionals the evolution of my feelings or lack there of, as I spent this whole game kinda on coast mode. I enjoyed getting to meet everyone and know you all's stories, honestly. It's the main reason why I continue to play these damn things after a decade. Even though this one is leaving me feeling a little sour, I'll bounce back.

[Deshawn]

Deshawn, thank you for the kind words. I definitely always felt like you were playing things close to the chest and I never really fully knew where I stood with you and if you actually trusted me as much as you said you did. You were kinda like a fortress to me. I loved talking to you about real life stuff but I felt like when it came to game, it was very cut and dry. That's partially why I wasn't sure if 1) you had any sort of immunity idol and 2) if you had stronger deals outside of myself, Abe and Xander that you were going to use to make moves.

JR, thank you as well. Not the game I thought I would come to play but it is what it is at this rate. I was pretty disconnected for the entirety of this game mentally and wasn't playing hard at all, which is why I think I came out of the game feeling very conflicted at how everyone else was feeling towards me. You'll see in confessionals the evolution of my feelings or lack there of, as I spent this whole game kinda on coast mode. I enjoyed getting to meet everyone and know you all's stories, honestly. It's the main reason why I continue to play these damn things after a decade. Even though this one is leaving me feeling a little sour, I'll bounce back.

I can't fault you for that. It was never a lack of trust on my part, I just always felt like we connected on a very personal level in the early days of Ancha with our daily morning conversations. I always did talk less game with you because I felt like the connection was different and that's why I built trust differently with you. But I know I was always very careful in the way I said things (to everyone). The things I did have outside of the four were never against you. If anything, the fact that some people wanted to target you influenced my desire to target them in return. I was always going to be loyal till 4.

[Evvie]

Our morning conversations were some of my highlights because they were the calmest part about the whole game and took me out of it. I definitely felt like the connection I had to you was genuine but of course, when we got hit with that dreaded 'most likely to win' title I knew it was either going to be you or me at some point as the game went on and I had to pull the punch first in hopes it would get me further with the other two. I definitely flirted with the idea of taking us four (five really, with Shan in my own personal hopes) but once I realized that you could beat me in challenges and I was never really able to get a pulse on you, I had to vote against you for that round. I also appreciated that you didn't take it too tough leaving the game and I respect how you played. You were a dangerous player, but I can tell the person behind the character 'Deshawn' is a genuine human being. And I truly appreciate that.

[Deshawn]

Do you know who commented what on the votes when I left by any chance? I know Leslie's and I feel like yours is the one about being loyal but I'm curious about the other two.

[Evvie]

Do you know who commented what on the votes when I left by any chance? I know Leslie's and I feel like yours is the one about being loyal but I'm curious about the other two.

I don't. Mine is actually the one about you saw this coming but you didn't see THIS coming. Not sure how anyone else bid you adieu that day. I normally didn't keep up with who wrote each goodbye message, unfortunately.