[Susie Smith]

The Survival Sequences challenge was a bit of a blur, with Shan emerging as the winner! Everyone seemed to agree to send Heather packing, and just like that we’re down to 7! 

1.      That challenge was a doozy! Did you have any particular strategy for Survival Sequences? How’d that work out for you?
2.      Was voting out Heather YOUR idea, or did you go along for some reason? If it wasn’t your preference, why did you go along with it?
3.      Do you have any true ride or dies at this point? Do you think you’re theirs? Who thinks you’re loyal to them, but you’re not?
4.      Who do you think is the biggest threat to your torch right now? What will you do about that?
5.      Who do you think is most likely to give a bitter jury speech?
6.      Have you made any big moves so far this season? What were they?
7.      What would your fellow tribemates find the most surprising to learn about you? 

We've been loving all the confessional videos that so many of you have been making! If you haven't already, we encourage you to record a shortish video on YouTube, mark it as 'unlisted,' and share it with us! You can talk about your thoughts on the game and share your answers to the confessional questions.  If you need some inspiration, here’s a reaction video Cakes did after making the merge in one of her ORGs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLHZ9YH_HJE 

[Evvie]

In an attempt to try and use the little energy I have left, I'm going to try and answer these confessionals before bed tonight. Just turned off my IMs so no one can get into contact with me and I can focus.

1.      That challenge was a doozy! Did you have any particular strategy for Survival Sequences? How’d that work out for you?

That challenge was actually really difficult. I wasn't sure what I was going to do or how the questions were going to be asked and even though I failed, I was over here preparing! I was in the middle of a phone call when everything started so I had to recalibrate once I got off. The practice .gif, I tried to just see the patterns and copy onto the notes section of my phone but then I realized that wasn't going to work for me because I couldn't keep up with the placement of each. I had the bright idea to save the .gif to my desktop, then write out the items on the notes section of my phone and use that as a quick reference while having a second window open so that way I could mail Probst immediately. All that prep and still lost. I wonder if I buzzed in before Shan, though, or else it was always a L from the jump. The shit didn't work but it was because I was so panicky that I had made it that far in the challenge without getting chosen and fucked up the first chance I got. Like, really, bitch?

2.      Was voting out Heather YOUR idea, or did you go along for some reason? If it wasn’t your preference, why did you go along with it?

Heather was somewhat my idea, somewhat something I went along with. Now, this actually is NOT a bad thing and it's what I kinda manifested in the last video that I posted. I haven't been ready to let go of Shan honestly and I was only about to sacrifice her to make Xander happy. I truly feel like the Andean Gods stepped in and were like 'no bitch' and grabbed up the opportunity for her to go home because tonight would have NOT gone as it did. That shit would have probably been rocks or something close to it. Shan truly saved herself and Papa Probst tried to allude to it and of course, because I'm me, I tried to put that bug in Shan's ear like......do you think he was trying to say something? Like I'm trying to hint all around it without saying it because I really want to be like MY SISTER KEEP YOUR GUARD UP but then there's a part of me that's like the longer she stays, the more dangerous she becomes but she is a really great shield for me to have right now. I think that right now, JR and Shan are my shields with a cute Abe as a possible but I feel like I'm somewhere in there. There's a part of me that makes me feel like Xander is about to do something crazy this upcoming round and I want to be on the right side of it because I feel like he's similar to me in the sense that he will want to do something crazy if he doesn't get his way and honestly, I've been getting my way the whole damn time LMFAO the reason why I wanted this configuration is because I'm not trying to be cocky, but everyone brings me information or tries to include me in things or have conversations with me...and I feel like I have that information to be able to decide what's best and what isn't. 

In addition to Heather's departure, she decided to snatch my wig on her way out the door. How rude and how dare her! I don't even know how I got the name of the snake, it sounds like she got that straight from Sara's mouth which leads me to believe that Heather doesn't have logical thinking of her own LMAO but I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt. She aligns with me and then doesn't say shit. If you don't say anything, I'm not going to say anything. THIS IS A TWO WAY RELATIONSHIP MISS GIRL! I also know she's busy and she was taking up space. Let's just hope this doesn't bite me in the ass and everyone turns on Evvie at 7.

I JUST HAD A FUCKING IDEA. OMG. So, I was put up against Shan and got my question wrong? What about me letting her know that I kinda threw it to her to ensure she won so she would stay safe...and now that implicates both Abe, Deshawn AND Xander and also makes me a true snake but if I'm going to be called snake...I might as well be the fucking snake.

3.      Do you have any true ride or dies at this point? Do you think you’re theirs? Who thinks you’re loyal to them, but you’re not?

Xander, Abe and I had a great conversation earlier today as a trio, FINALLY, so that was nice for me to have. I think that they have me and I feel like there's no way they could be double dipping as insanely as I could be depicted to be. The reason why my mind started going there is because I have been wondering if they have another group outside of the three of us, but the timing that we are online and the groups that are in existence aren't necessarily popping off anymore. We may be the only one that's there. I also do feel close to Deshawn, he's like the fourth place person but I need to start thinking end game. I also have a close connection to Shan and she's been my girl and I really don't want her to leave next...so I need to do something about it because this will be what saves her. But it has to be a seamless plan and it has to be the right person.

4.      Who do you think is the biggest threat to your torch right now? What will you do about that?

Deshawn is a big threat and that 'you're cool' from Heather was proof enough that he's in a good spot. I did have the idea of taking him out this next round because he's a big threat to the end game for me personally, because look at it...he's the one that was tied with me for that answer and he also knows how to be calm like water with people in his responses. He's very stable, I can tell, and has a good head on his shoulders. That's really scary for me because honestly, I have questioned where his intentions lie throughout the game. He could be a great next target, but I also feel like I don't have the proper numbers in order to make that happen right now. Shan may or may not be interested in making that type of move and I feel like Leslie potentially would be into it because she knows that it would split up that Abraham and Deshawn duo that is supposed to be out there and it sounds like duos are getting chopped off. If I leave Abraham and Xander alone and get Deshawn, that would be a feather in my cap. Now, I don't really want to do that either but that would be the hard mode move. I would feel like such a dick. If Shan wins again, then I feel like I would probably lobby for Deshawn if I think I had the balls to go for it, JR if it was the safe vote. I feel like if Abe gets brought up, he's an option for me as well...he's been my closest ally and the person that keeps me in the loop with everything and I've been committed to Xander...but I have a feeling one of them is going to try and cut me. I also kinda wanna get rid of Leslie because she's a nice lady but I want her to not be stressing out about this game with her kid. And Leslie always gets votes, it's like the running joke of the merge right now. My girl has always gotten a vote and like, that becomes a threat. She's in the final 3 if she keeps that happening. It's giving Big Brother pawn sitting on the block LOL. I'm just thinking out loud for now, but yeah...I need to sleep on it and come up with an idea about what I actually want to do and carve out the end game. It's time to start thinking ahead and trying to plan backwards.

I got tired so I'm going to finish the rest of these tomorrow...

[Evvie]

5.      Who do you think is most likely to give a bitter jury speech?

Does this mean someone who is going to be on the jury and upset when they make it there? I could see Sara, Heather, and Abe making bitter jury speeches. Abe if he ends up there. Let's be real, Heather tried to snatch my wig last night so I already know if my ass is sitting there, it will NOT be good for your famous, your favorite bitch Evvie.

6.      Have you made any big moves so far this season? What were they?

I mean, let's be honest. I didn't start fucking voting until halfway through this experience so like, the biggest moves have been getting into alliances and locking into them early like I did. Then, I feel like when the merge hit, I've been able to vote every person out that I wanted to aside from that first vote with Jaime. I need to take a backseat for a little bit because I know my threat level is rising. I wouldn't be surprised if I skate through tonight with no votes, but then become the main target next round.

7.      What would your fellow tribemates find the most surprising to learn about you? 

I've been depressed this whole time! But that's just my natural state of mind so fighting through that to show up every day has been the hardest. Umm, I'm black and I am a boy? I know JR was surprised I was not a woman or a femme when I was playing as Evvie, which I was surprised by. I think most people know I'm a gay. Umm. I think also they would be surprised to know how much effort or maybe lack thereof that I've been putting in this whole time. Umm, they'd be surprised to know I've been arrested twice maybe? But that's like deeply personal life things going on LMAO.

Sorry I didn't get to write much but wanted to have ideas down before the challenge. I should have finished this earlier but you know, things happen~ 

[Evvie]

I really hate the fact that Shan is about to get eliminated and I'm just sitting here, talking to her making her feel all safe and cool, calm and collected. I love talking to her, I've loved getting to talk to her and the fact that I am not going out of my way to make this emotional decision and tell her like, HEY YOU ALMOST WENT HOME AND YOU'RE GOING HOME TODAY is legit killing me inside. I just feel like either way the cookie crumbles, it makes sense to get her out even though there is a part of me that wants to try and get Deshawn out because he will be a threat to the end of the game as well. I'm going along with my alliance and with what Xander wants to do because I know this is the only way to keep him close to me. Do I see myself beating him at the end though? Do I see him taking me or Abe? Or maybe he has other plans? I'm also assuming this will be a final 2 so I know I have to fight my way to get there. I need to start making those type of deals after this round goes and I wonder who is going to pair off with who or if the others have any ideas as to what they want to do. I know I'm letting someone else drive down the road this time to get us to make these moves, which may or may not be in my best interest and like, me, Abe AND Deshawn are all saying this one is going to suck...why are we rolling over for Xander? That's actually dangerous in of itself...but like, am I about to be the one who flips on my final 2 ally? I feel like I keep edging the fans with my thoughts and feeling like I want to try something different but not necessarily doing it because either A) I don't have the balls or B) it's not the time to shake the cage. If I am going to get to the end, I definitely have to make moves that warrant me looking like I deserve to win...but at this rate, I just want to continue to get further and take it one round at a time. Because I don't see me sitting in final chairs right now with any configuration, if I'm being honest...but I'm going to try and just stay the course until something feels off.

But this feels off. WHAT AM I DOING. 

Maybe these whispers will go off tonight...

[Evvie]

I HAVE A FEELING I AM GOING TO REGRET THIS!!!!!

[Evvie]

Okay so immediate reaction is...EVERYONE LIED TO EACH OTHER LMFAO. And I don't feel as bad because they still came for Deshawn without letting me know that that was what they were going to do, Leslie AND Shan so...yeah.

I guess it was the right move~