[Susie Smith]

Well, hello Pachamama! You're looking so fresh!

The game has taken some thrilling twists and turns in the past couple days: Aaron was blindsided, Frosti melted, Deshawn and Jean-Robert emerged as tribe Ambassadors, and Abraham and Xander won immunity. But the best news is that you've made it to the merge!

Let's dive into the questions.

1.       Are you planning to stick with some or all of your OG tribe? Who do you hope sticks around?

2.       Or, now that the tribes have merged, are you considering a change in allegiance? Are you concerned that delaying your decision could result in being betrayed first?

3.       What is your perspective on the Xander screenshot situation? Has it influenced your inclination to align yourself with him, either positively or negatively?

4.       Abraham and Xander won the aMazing Race challenge. What are your thoughts about that? Were you hoping to vote either of them off?

5.       What do you want to tell your fans that we haven’t asked about yet?

We also have bonus questions from the lurkers!

Lurker Michael asks, “With the merge, how do you plan on using your new connections to your advantage?”

Aurora wants to know, “Do you think there will be a Pagonging?”

From John, “You will no longer be able to rely on tribal immunity, how do you plan to win the game?”

[Shan]

[Shan]

Y'all it's 6am and I've been tossing and turning about this vote since 4:30 lol.  I just can't decide what the right path for me is.  Sticking with Ancha and pagonging Kallpa is boring af, plus then what?  If we pull it off and get down to 7, then what happens to me?

People who I think genuinely have me in their long term plans:  Evvie, Heather, and I think Abe?

People who I think want to keep me around as long as necessary but have no intention of going endgame with me (unless they see me as a goat): Xander, Sara, Deshawn

People on the other tribe that I trust:  Leslie.  Maybe Jaime.

People on the other tribe who I've been considering joining up with since before the merge but who won't get out of their own way and SHUT THE FUCK UP about me: JEAN-ROBERT

I wasn't expecting merge last night so I let Lucy stay up a little later thinking I'd do the challenge real quick then put her to bed... then you bitches merged us.    So the whole time after the challenge Lucy is tiiiiiiiiired but ONLY mommy can do bedtime lol so I finally had to run at like 11:30 and put her to bed.  So a few minutes before I left JR starts running his mouth to everyone, telling everyone different stories?  And several versions of these stories include voting me out.  I can only imagine what he's saying to OG Ancha to try to convince them to turn on me, because I'm like 99% on Leslie but what if she's feeding him what I'm saying you know?  So I decided to just talk to JR myself.





So I thought JR and I were good, and I HAD to go put Lucy to sleep because who the hell lets their kid stay up that late because of a Survivor game.  I thought I was gonna be able to come back so I said goodbye to everyone and said I'd hopefully be back in 30 minutes, which did not pan out because I fell asleep too lol.  So when I wake up at 4:30 and finally give up on going back to sleep and came here to confessional while these bitches be sleeping like babies, I have a message from exactly one person.



GREAT.  I can only imagine that JR is throwing me under the bus and saying that I'm trying to work with his tribe, because Abe sounds kinda pissed.  "Just something to keep in mind"??  As what?  I plot against my tribe?  COME ONLINE ABE WHAT DO YOU KNOW???  So ominous.  

Am I fucked now?  Maybe.  I feel like everyone viewing is like "YOU IDIOT YOU HAD A GOOD THING WITH ANCHA AND YOU GOT SLOPPY"  Again, maybe.    But y'all, I was INFORMED who my choices to vote out are and only given two options.  Abe was like "Sara wants Jaime or Erik out and honestly I'm good with letting her run the merge."  Uhhhh congrats but I don't recall being asked how I feel about it?  I later found out from Evvie there was discussion about all four Kallpa, but I was not included in that part.  I'm not entirely sure who was, but I get the feeling it was everyone except me and Heather.  I would be pretty comfy with that position if we were still in tribes-- not threatening enough to be at the top of most people's hit list but taken slightly too seriously to put at the very bottom.  But I thought I'd have more options at merge.  I thought there'd be at least one less Ancha.  And I thought there would be potential to exploit Xander's lack of vote to hopefully get him out when he's vulnerable and powerless.  I see him and Sara as being my two biggest problems, because they seem to have a lot of control but no desire to loop me in on anything.  I DID want to come off as non-threatening, which apparently I did too well.  I feel like Evvie, Heather, and Leslie are my biggest tickets to making the endgame, but I'm not sure which combination of people with them will get me there.

Part of me is just like... wouldn't it be kind of fun to throw caution to the wind for once and force a tie?  I never play like that and I wonder what would happen if I was just an agent of chaos throughout the merge Not like, senseless chaos, just not as careful as I always am.

I don't know.  I'm undecided.  I figure there's a good chance I go tonight, I feel like I didn't get off to the start I wanted to and maybe the foundation just isn't there for a win.  Or maybe I'm just deliriously tired lol.  I'm gonna channel old school ORGy here when I say :iiam

Evvie just messaged me that Heather's too crazy to stick with long term.  UGHHHH I thought Evvie of all people would understand why you keep someone like that around if they're completely loyal to you.  Goddamnit I'm going  back to bed.

[Shan]

I ALMOST CRIED



Good thing she put it back, I would have bowed out of the game tbh

[Shan]

THERE ARE OTHER MOMS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Shan]

Tried to appeal to Heather on a game level that we might be playing for 6th and 7th.  It seemed like I was getting somewhere but then I failed.  Probably just flushed my whole game down the toilet.  Also I'm second guessing myself because Heather is insisting that I'm in a better position than I think I am.  Am I blowing shit up for nothing?  I just love Leslie and Jaime and most of Ancha is so boring.  Also I really hate this shit:



No shade on Abe because he at least tells me these things, but nobody else does.  They discuss things amongst themselves first and then bring me options and pretend I had a say in it.  That cocky shit annoys me ughhhh

No idea what I'm gonna do or who I'm gonna vote for.  Stay tuned for future stressing.

[Loveita Adams]

I ALMOST CRIED



Good thing she put it back, I would have bowed out of the game tbh

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dean Kowalski]

I can't think of a way to think of a cute way to make a Shan Stan noun (like Shtan) without making it sound like a shortened version of shitstain so I'm just gonna say we stan Shan

[Shan]

I mean honestly I've answered to worse

It is SIIIIIILENT here right now lollllll...

I am SCARED

[Donathan]

I mean honestly I've answered to worse

It is SIIIIIILENT here right now lollllll...

I am SCARED

well if youre not busy socializing.... whats your current trust ranking going into this vote 

[Shan]

Funny you should ask, I just made a video confessional!

[Dean Kowalski]

Thanks for the vid confessional!

Not you wishing Xander spilt something more juicy in the screenshot LMAO I'm living for this

[Shan]

There's no way these people don't know what I've been up to all day, I'm so fucked  

Everyone is being overly cordial and friendly with me.  Either Abe told them they freaked me out or they are liiiiiiars


She hasn't responded in 20 minutes lol.  Is it just me or does it sound like she knows i kind of betrayed her trust by telling heather what she said about the f3    I wonder if they're swapping me out for JR.  I can't imagine that he's not in cahoots with Sara.


 

[Shan]

With the information I have I don't see how i can save Jaime, because more and more evidence is popping up that JR and Sara are very tight.  I feel like JR is going to vote with us, so I wouldn't even be able to force a tie.  And if it's me, I think it's a foregone conclusion at this point and I'd be unable to save myself with these tight lipped bitches in 13 minutes anyway.  

Lurkers, hosts, feel free to weigh in with any insight here  

I hate this

[Shan]

Pleeeease let it not be me

Pleeeease let me somehow get out of this unscathed even though I don't deserve it

PLEEEASE let Jaime have an idol (unless she's gonna idol me out then nvm that last one genie)

[Shan]

NOT EVVIE AND JR WHISPERING LOL I'M SO FUCKED

[Shan]

I can't tell if i whispered right and i am DYING  

[Shan]

I could have fucking saved her.  It wouldn't have even been a tie.